Great Moments In Musical History
...
Here is a list of quotes from grade school essays on classical music:
"J.S. Bach died from 1750 to the present"
"Agnus Dei was a woman composer famous for her church music."
"Refrain means don't do it. A refrain in music is the part you better not try to sing."
"Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was rather large."
"Beethove wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling him. I guess he could not hear so good. Beethoved expired in 1827 and later died from this."
"Henry Purcell is a well-known composer few people have ever heard of."
"An opera is a song of bigly size."
"A harp is a nude piano."
"Aaron Copland is one of our most famous contemporary composers. It is unusual to be contemporary. Most composers do not live until they are dead."
"A virtuoso is a musician with real high morals."
"Music sung by two people at the same time is called a duel."
"I know what a sextet is but I'd rather not say."
"Most authorities agree that music of antiquity was written long ago."
"My favorite composer is opus."
"Probably the most marvelous fugue was between the Hatfields and the McCoys."
"My very best liked piece is the bronze lullaby."
